by David Brenneman
"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You have anointed my head with oil; My cup overflows. Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." Psalms 23:1-6.
As a child, much like every child, going to bed when told to really didn't work out that way well.
I often figured out how to get up and mess with something.
Right now I'm sort of feeling like those days all over again. This season of my life is nothing like I have ever envisioned. While I'm not anxious about the present or the future, per se, I am not dealing with this profound silence very well.
It's not easily explained to others. While I know that God's been providing, our faith history shows He always has, its this silence from the job market that is so supposedly overwhelmingly full of opportunities that's the most irritating to endure.
This is where my mind comes back around to that verse in Psalms 23.
Being made to lie down. In his book "A Shepherds Perspective on Psalms 23" W. Keller says "Because of the social behavior within a flock, sheep will not lie down unless they are free from friction with others of their kind. If tormented by flies or parasites, sheep will not lie down. Only when free of these pests can they relax. Lastly, sheep will not lie down as long as they feel in need of finding food. They must be free from hunger. It is significant that to be at rest there must be a definite sense of freedom from fear, tension, aggravations, and hunger. The unique aspect of the picture is that it is only the sheepman himself who can provide release from these anxieties. It all depends upon the diligence of the owner whether or not his flock is free of disturbing influences."
Silence of the kind that I have been going through for 7 months has been that kind that is most reminiscent of nails on a chalkboard. While yes my prayer request in a new job is such that I don't want to be confused by what job to accept...this silence is deafening.
Being made to rest when I am not used to it is quite honestly frustrating. But it seems this is what I am to do. Especially considering the conversations of late points to the Spirit bringing that particular passage to mind. That of being made to lie down.
I am reminded of the years that I watched M*A*S*H...yes I watched them before they were ever re-runs. In many episodes they dealt with patients who had to be restrained because what healing they needed required it.
There's comes the second thought to the first. That in some way I need to heal from something that I cannot see.
The final thought is that this time in my life is to prepare me for what's coming. The training program that the Spirit has me going through each day will have a day in which application will come about.
I know not what the future holds. I would be lying if I said there was zero anxiety involved. Paul struggled with anxiety at times. Peter did too. Timothy as well.
My mind doesn't do well with nothing to do...to think about...to figure out. I am used to several trains of thought going on at once.
Right now most tracks are silent.
I continue to pray and go where lead by God to do. I know of no other thing to be doing.
The second part is the next verse. He restores my soul. The second part isn't much without the first of being made to lie down.
He brings me reminders at the right time of His hands working in my life. That I am not alone even though I don't understand and am thoroughly confused. On several occasions the Apostles dealt with the same. Such is the life of a Believer, a Disciple of Jesus Christ.
All NASB Scripture Excerpts used by permission.
New American Standard Bible
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