What shall we say then?
I saw several things in this past month that should have caused worry, should have caused grief. Should have caused despair. Beloved pets dying after a ray of hope at treatment. Vehicle problems across 3 vehicle's in 18 months, added another month to that. Time constraints that are building. Work loads that keep shifting. A stove that's acting up. As I have told many, this month of June is by far the most complex that I can remember. Note how I worded that. Complex, not troublesome or problematic.
But no where in it have I felt that Jesus ever abandoned me. Rather the opposite, it's shown me that just like He was in the boat with the Disciples in the storm...He's right there with me.
It's rough for sure. Oh yes it's been rough. I guess if I really look at things and how I reacted, God most assuredly has been working in my life. I haven't reacted like I used to. No blow ups. No lashing out in anger at inanimate objects. No crying in frustration although there has been a few tears.
What I am trying to do is just to stand and wait to see how He is going to deal with these issues. Doing what He's giving me to do.
By no means am I saying that I have arrived in my Spiritual walk. By no means am I saying that. Inside me it's a struggle. I really do want positive results right away, but God's still saying Hold on...it will work out.
Delays are the fastest way to see how far that you have come in your walk with God. How you deal with delays is as important as how you deal with joy.
I don't sense that God is saying no to fixing what's been wrong. He's saying hold on.
Nobody likes being attacked. But often times that's what it feels like. Even if it's nothing huge, like a fist to the gut. Constant jabs are the same. Constant pokes are the same. Constant behavior can be the same.
But as Scripture shows...nothing in a believers life ever gets TO a believer that isn't permitted by God. Every created being, including Satan, especially Satan, has to get permission to do anything to any believer in Jesus Christ.
I sigh, I sometimes weep inside, but my God knows. I face disappointment, or disappointing others by the choices that I have made. There's no denying that there are times that I cry out to God. Or simply that I cry in His presence. Because I don't know what words to say. But as the Psalmist has said my trust is in the Lord.
My help will come from Him.
This post is perhaps more about sharing what June has been like and what God's doing in our lives. There's no profit in being anxious or impatient. Especially in a world that excels at it. Being different in a world like that will probably make you stand out. Will maybe make someone ask why can you be this way when all this is happening? There's your opportunity.
I go to bed tired and often wake up the same, but I know that my God is with me.
It's up to me to do what He puts before me. God's got a Plan. And things always work out according to it. I just need to breathe and do what's mine to do. No where in Scripture does it say that God will always explain Why. Job didn't know until after he died....decades later after all that you read about.
Sometimes part of faith must be to just believe and do. We may never know the why.