In that I am often the subject of many of these posts by way of God using my experiences as material...this isn't going to be any different.
To read back through the posts you will find most things except for that of one...my heart. I am not ashamed at admitting that it breaks my heart every week that the time comes for me to go to where I stay during the week.
My heart hurts so much when I have to leave. Even our cats catch on to the sadness.
What does this have to do with God's heart? If only we knew the heartbreak we have brought to God by our disobedience.
If only we saw our lives as Jesus sees our lives. As he sees our choices, our decisions.
Being separated from my Wife increasingly brings me to tears. When life still hits at the same time as this, I am up against the wall. I sometimes shut down because it's too much.
Practically every day I am crying out to God about our circumstances. Of needing His help and intervention in all of this.
My heartbreak isn't nearly as bad as what Jesus probably goes through when we go after things of this world. When we decide to sin rather than repent. When we choose the sin over the Savior.
My life, when we get out of this season, won't be the same. My heart won't be the same. Perhaps it will be for the better. Lord willing I won't forget the lessons learned. Perhaps this will stick with me and maybe others in order to draw us closer to God.
This is rough. This is oh so hard.
Yet I know that Jesus went through worse to save a wretch like me. He was separated from His Father. He knows pain and anguish of heart. He knows we will speak nonsense in our pain and hurt. He knows. The Bible says so.
As I heard once, and I am not sure from where: silence is loud. You either find yourself talking to yourself or you are in prayer. I certainly have been praying more than I ever have been.
My heart wants to be both with my Wife and right before Jesus.
Jesus wants what's best for us in light of His plans to reach people.
Jesus hurts when people embrace idols in our world. Jesus hurts when the glory due Him is given to another.
We trust in Him but often live out something else. We choose to break His heart. I have done this and I am ashamed of it.
God's going to work out His plan to save all who will come to Jesus. We are to be Jesus to this lost world. We, however, often live out a worldly life instead. Embracing idols in our hearts rather than Him in our hearts. The sports and entertainment world is full of idolatry. People take the honor and glory due to Jesus alone and give that passion and desire to those things instead...we break His heart.
Hobbies and leisure activities can do the same if not being done towards glorifying God. They can take our hearts and minds away from the workmanship we are to have in Christ Jesus.
People today embrace rivalries. Technically legitimate hate that has no place in the hearts of Christians. Have seen this played out in a church service.
Teaching generations to hate someone else for no Biblical reason.
This too breaks His heart.
We really need to take a step back and quit deceiving ourselves of our view in the mirror of ourselves.
I have begun and I have seen things that I don't like. I want to be one who doesn't break God's heart. Do you?
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