by David Brenneman
The title might sound a bit self-centered, but, it really isn't.
Throughout my life many people have taken a look at me and turned the other way. I've evidently given people, by way of facial expressions, the notion that I am angry or unapproachable.
I actually, when in the right circumstances, am ok around most people. I do tend to think differently than most people I have met in my life. I've possibly met maybe one other person who thinks, as I call it, in parallel. I rarely have a single train of thought. Emotions are often not high on my list of things to think about.
My disposition is evidently a turn off. I really do love talking about things of God. Of discoveries in the world that prove the Bible.
My parallel thinking is just my mind dealing with several things at once. Problems that I am facing along with problems of others. Figuring out how to build or fix something.
The disconnect with emotion isn't entirely what it seems. Today's Life Principle asks the question of "How can I deal with discouragement?". Jeremiah had it every day.
Discouragement and anxiety are often on my mind. It's a very complicated thing. What I write is quite often a surprise even to me. I am often lead to write words of encouragement and support to people yet it's something that I need myself.
My life indeed is hidden in Christ Jesus. My sin nature isn't separated from me yet.
It's a hard thing for me doing battle in my mind against myself. Memorizing Scripture had always been extremely difficult for me. So to have that to lean on isn't necessarily happening. So what's my path? Prayer. I often am just praying at almost any given time. It actually calms my thinking. It reduces the number of thoughts that happen in me.
It's perhaps a description of the peace of God that passes all understanding. God's able to do with my mind what I can't do on my own.
While I do have to fight anxiety and disappointment, discouragement and depression, I am not alone in it. I know of others in the faith who have similar struggles. It's not altogether that uncommon.
I have found that informal prayer is what's most calming to me. To just pray what's on my mind. To take my anxious thoughts to my Savior. Sort of related could be my still dealing with lingering effects of the nervous breakdown I had many years ago. It happened due to an honesty evil person in my life who was a supervisor.
It's possibly part of my reason for the trust issues that I have mixed with very intense loyalty to those whom I do trust.
I am a work in progress. Jesus is the one working on me through the Spirit. I know not what the future holds, but I know who holds my future.
I do indeed like to fix things. Just not all the time. I do like to learn, which often makes me sound a bit arrogant I suppose when explaining something.
My life in Christ is more important to me than what's in my life. We aren't going to have discussions with Jesus on football or work or this or that, when we give an account of our lives before Him. It will be about what we did in the body for Him. It's going to be about our obedience.
While I cherish relationships dearly...often struggling greatly when something happens to them...I lean in on my Savior when that discouragement and disappointment hits me.
We have a hope and a future in Christ Jesus. God indeed works everything together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.
While my life can be complicated and disjointed, my relationship with Jesus stays solid. While I am far from those I would love to hear from again, I look for the new relationships He has planned for me. While life often makes no sense, I know who to lean on who takes care of that. While I often don't have the answers, I know who does.
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